Today is my birthday, and a big one at that. I'm turning thirty today. In some ways I wanted to keep it to myself and pretend to still be in my twenties, but then I thought - NO! I need to be honest and declare to myself and the world that I'm moving into a new age bracket and there is nothing wrong with that.
In some ways I feel like at this age I should have had some deep and profound revelations, however that hasn't been the case for me. I haven't changed much, however organically my mindset has shifted over the past few years and there are parts of me that no longer become worried about certain things.
You're probably wondering what I'm rattling on about. Well, I feel like at thirty you should understand yourself, your life, your goals and your adventures. And even though I'm not completely out of whack with these concepts, there are certain aspects of my life that I don't feel is 'figured' out. For the first time in a long time, I do not care.
That is where the real shift occurred. I recently made a big move and changed where I live, work and how I operate my day-to-day life. It wasn't super easy and I dissapointed a lot of people. I just knew that I had to stop worrying about what every other person felt was right or wrong for me to do, and to just focus on myself. I had some exploration of self to do. I needed to 'get to know myself again.
My biggest problem over the years is the fact that I did not have a selfish bone in my body. I was thoughtful, caring and always worried about what people thought of me. There is nothing wrong with being like this, however it becomes all-consuming in a way. I never focused on caring for myself or sorting my own needs out. I had to learn about balancing both parts equally and knowing when not to worry about what people thought or about their opinions.
Additionally, I've always had a knife-edged view of my body. It has always been mostly negative, with heavy emphasis being placed on parts that I don't like. My knees, my thighs, my arms etc. etc. Every woman has her own insecurities, and it is not always as easily said as done to accept your own "flaws". According to your perception these are flaws, however other woman might think those are some of your best assets. I struggle with this still, however have come to accept that I need to put far more emphasis on the parts of my body that I like and try and draw attention to those areas. I love my overall shape, because I have curves. I could (and probably should) loose a good few pounds, but until I do, I'm gonna love myself. Because I was fearfully and wonderfully made by God. I'm unique and one-of-a-kind. It is such a profound thought when you realise that you ARE special and you are loved.
Overall, I'm excited beyond belief to step into my new adventure which is thirty. I'd love to work on my business ideas, spend loads of time with my family and friends, travel, be more healthy, possibly stepping into motherhood at some point and live life to the fullest.
If I could give anyone in their twenties some good advice, it would be to just go for it without fear of what everyone else thinks. Screw it. This is your time. Go to uni if that is what you want to do. Start that business. Push yourself to get your dream job. Travel. Explore. Do what feels right. Love. Smile. Live in the moment.
My thirties is going to be filled with 'living in the moment'. That will be my slogan to live by. I haven't got space in my mind for all the silly little problems and obstacles that I create for myself. I've decided to free myself of expectation and just 'go for it'.
So here is to thirty. Chin chin.
Disclaimer: all images on this post are the intellectual property of A Bubbly Life. These were used only to illustrate the point of a birthday celebration.
When I first read Eat, Pray, Love
last year I admit I had very little sympathy for Elizabeth Gilbert. I
couldn’t relate to her journey – at least not all of it. I was painfully
familiar with her story of depression, emotional eating and spiritual
quest, but I didn’t have all the relationship baggage she was carrying.
So, my first reaction to her decision to travel the world in search of
herself was judgmental – she was running away! Perhaps there was a bit
of envy as well. I couldn’t imagine having the luxury of leaving my
friends, family and responsibilities behind to find happiness in a
strange land.
